Forgotten Love


She was the apple of her parent's eye. A polite, shy, soft-spoken girl whose only friends were her novels and painting brushes. One could find her spending most of her free time in a world of her own, the only mirror to her world - her paintings, which seemed as complex and difficult to interpret as their creator.

So when she finished college and started working freelance as an artist, her parents thought it was time to find a prince charming for their beautiful little Diya, the light of their lives. However heartbreaking the thought, they always knew that one day they had to give their little princess away to a bright young man, one who would treat her as tenderly as her parents did. That was their dream for their little girl.

And thus the hunt began. As was common in their community, relatives were informed to find the right match for Diya. Her parents, Rajan and Kavita, gave relatives a brief of what they hoped for in a son-in-law, each time emphasising how gentle and delicate Diya is, and to find a match suitably. 

And thus begun long excruciating calls from distant relatives who thought they had the right boy for Diya. Many potentials were discussed, from Doctors, to Engineers, to Investment Bankers. Boys staying in London, New York, Sydney, Cape Town etc. But none seemed right to Rajan, for he could not fathom sending his little girl so far away. He hoped that a loving, caring and sensible match could be found in Chennai itself.

One day, while out for a meeting with an advertising firm for a campaign for his company, Rajan was introduced to a young, bright, energetic young man named Atul. As Atul presented the planned ad campaign to everyone, he radiated confidence and brilliance. After the meeting Atul's boss introduced him to Rajan as the brains behind the campaign. As Rajan heard the young man's credentials and his achievements at such a young age, he was considerably impressed. As the whole team proceeded for lunch, Rajan got a chance to speak to Atul alone. He asked Atul about his family, background, career plans, and somewhat discreetly, his marital status.

As he drove home that evening, Rajan could not help but smile to himself. He was happy to have come across a young man who was, in his mind, a perfect match for Diya. More so, Atul's manners assured Rajan that he could in no way hurt or harm his daughter. He reached home and spoke his mind to Kavita, who was overjoyed at her husband's description. There was but one minor obstacle though, one that was somewhat minor to Rajan and Kavita, but would create a furore in their extended family. Atul was a Punjabi boy, while Diya and her family were devout Iyers. There was no way that the elders of the family would agree to such a match. 

Despite these concerns the parents decided that if Diya agreed to the match, they would take talks forward with Atul and his family. So they decided to check with their little girl, without whose consent, they were unwilling to take any steps in this regard.

That evening, after dinner, Kavita walked into Diya's room to find her engrossed in one of favourite classic novels. Since her mother checked on her often at night, before going to bed, Diya thought nothing of the nightly visit. However, Kavita did not just peep in the door today, but slowly made her way to Diya's bedside and seated herself on a chair there. Then she casually broached the topic of Diya's marriage to her. Accustomed to relatives discussing this topic a little too often lately, Diya listened, paying little attention to the details, till she heard her mother say "we think he is a great match." She put her book down, sat up straight and looked at her mother questioningly. Kavita, who knew her daughter inside out, knew the look. She held Diya's hands in hers and repeated all the details about Atul that Rajan had spoken of. Then she asked Diya if she would like her father to discuss the details further with Atul's family. Having complete trust in her father's judgement in such matters, Diya consented. 

But after her mother's visit she was left curious about this young man who seemed to have impressed her father so much. So, she did what most of us from the internet age do, googled the young man. As his picture came up on a well known social networking website, Diya smiled to herself. He was definitely handsome. Then she looked up his education, interests and hobbies. Surprisingly, everything seemed perfect. From reading, to appreciating art, to describing himself as a quiet, thoughtful introvert, Diya thought her father seemed to have found her the perfect man.

As the days proceeded, Rajan increased his interaction with Atul, sometimes even calling him home on the pretext of discussing the ad campaign. Whenever he came, Kavita went out of the way to make the best of snacks and took every chance to sit with the men, during breaks in their discussions, to learn more about Atul.  Atul too became comfortable with this gracious couple. However, each time Diya entered the room, Atul seemed very self conscious. He would never speak more than a polite hello and bury his head in his work. 

So, after weeks of calling Atul home on and off to work, Rajan thought it was time to get things into motion. That evening, as Atul came, Rajan took him to the garden and broached the topic that had been on his mind since the first time he interacted with Atul. He openly spoke of his desires with the young lad, his hopes for his daughter's future and his fears. As he looked expectantly at Atul for a reaction, the boy, although shocked, politely touched his feet, and asked for permission to discuss the details with his family, for without their consent he would not make such an important commitment.

That evening was a tense one at Diya's home, but with the morning light, came good news from Atul's end, asking for Rajan to visit his home with his family to meet Atul's parents. After much deliberation, discussion and argument at Rajan's family home, he was finally able to convince the elders of his family that he truly believed that Atul was the right man for his daughter. He had made up his mind, and only hoped for the blessings of the elders for his daughter.

That evening the families met, and all seemed to be perfect. Diya was welcomed with open arms into the home, and everyone raved about her simple beauty, expressive eyes and most importantly, her soft nature. They valued all the things that Rajan held dear about his daughter. All his fears slowly kept slipping away. He was now getting more and more comfortable about letting go of his little girl into this home. There would be times she would find it tough, being from completely different cultures, but he was sure his with the support of a lovely man like Atul by his daughter's side to support through the transition, they both would make it work.

Atul loved Diya unconditionally. He valued her. He always spoke highly of her to his family and friends, how she adjusted brilliantly and won everyone's hearts. Diya did more for his family than he himself. Atul was sure Diya knew how much he cared for and valued her, and that she was his princess, just like he had promised her father she would be the day he married her.

But her truth was different. Although she loved Atul dearly and knew he was not one to express his love openly to her, she often felt lost. She could not remember the last time he told her he loved her, or kissed her. Despite that she was sure of his love for her. What she was not so sure was if he valued or respected her the same way. 

Atul would never hurt Diya intentionally. But his habits that raised questions for Diya. 

Atul usually worked long hours. He loved his work and usually had little time for Diya. One home, he went straight to his room and just watched TV. There were times he did not even acknowledge her on his way in, and if she tried to speak, he would either ignore her or ask her to wait since he was either thinking something or writing a text or email to someone on his phone. The words they did share were usually limited to work related interactions. 

There were times she felt he was rude to her throughout the day. Not a conscious rude behaviour, for she saw that this was the his way of talking at home to his family too. But to her this was completely new and unacceptable. She could not fathom how he could either snap at her or raise his voice to her while they were alone and sometimes even in front of others. 

He never hit her. Not once did he harm her physically, and rarely even intentionally through his words. But he still managed to hurt her a lot through all his actions. For she felt uncared for and disrespected.

One evening, when she had rehearsed the conversation in her mind a number of times, Diya sat down next to Atul, as he watched TV, and in passing mentioned her woes to him. He paid little attention at first, and just acknowledged her on and off. Then when her talking distracted his TV watching, he finally turned to her and told her to stop nagging him. Slightly taken aback at the choice of words, since Diya rarely ever spoke her heart to anyone, she walked away with tears streaming down her eyes. As Atul followed her and sat her down to reason with her on why it was wrong of her to start badgering him after a long tough day at work, Diya felt she was maybe being too emotional.

That night, many questions kept her awake. Since she knew how much she meant to Atul and how much he loved her, then why was she so unhappy? Was love not enough for her happiness? After all Atul did so much for her, met all her desires and fancies. Why was she feeling so unhappy and empty in her life? If he loved her, did it not mean he respected her too? He spoke highly of her to the world, so what if he vent out his frustrations by raising his voice at her once in a while when they were alone? Was it OK to put up with it? Why did it feel wrong? Why did she not feel like the Princess within, the way dad and Atul told her she was?

That night she thought she would turn to something she had let go since her marriage, her painting. Through the night she painted, and in her art, she expressed all her anguish, concern, worries, desires and concerns. The piece was complete by the time Atul woke in the morning, and as he walked into the living room, looking for Diya, he felt her tempest through the canvas. In that one moment, he realised how much the conversation from last night meant to Diya. He had thought it to be one of those nagging sessions from wives his friends talked about, but now he realised it so much more. 

He knew he needed to fix this and that it was time for change. It was time to really remind himself, and more importantly Diya, that she truly was his Princess. And from that day on, he resolved to tell her more often that he loved her, and to cherish the time they shared together. 

Atul turned to look for Diya to apologise to her. He wanted to let her know how much he loved and adored her. 

There lay Diya, motionless on the sofa, peaceful, free from all her worries and pain. He hugged her tight and kissed her hard, for he had to have her know just how much he really did love her!

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